So if this book doesn't instruct about punctuation, what does it do? Well, you know those self-help books that give you permission to love yourself? This one gives you permission to love punctuation. If you've similarly always wanted to know where to use an apostrophe, it means you never will, doesn't it? If only because it's so extremely easy to find out. I would like to learn how to spell Connecticut. And Allen says reluctantly, "Well, I would like to learn how to spell Connecticut." What a great line that is. "Is there anything you want to know?" he asks Allen, who has been sullen throughout the interview. I am reminded of a scene in Woody Allen's Small Time Crooks when an oily Hugh Grant offers to help ignoramuses Allen and Tracey Ullman (newly wealthy) with any sort of cultural education. The trouble with all of these grammar books is that they are read principally by keen foreigners meanwhile, native English-speakers who require their help are the last people who will make the effort to buy and read them. There are already umpteen excellent punctuation guides on the market there is even a rather delightful publication for children called The Punctuation Repair Kit, which takes the line "Hey! It's uncool to be stupid!" which is a lie, of course, but you have to admire them for trying. Even as a book about punctuation, it will not give all the answers. If I did not believe that everyone is capable of understanding where an apostrophe goes, I would not be writing this book.
A degree in English language is not a prerequisite for caring about where a bracket is preferred to a dash, or a comma needs to be replaced by a semicolon. To me a subordinate clause will for ever be (since I heard the actor Martin Jarvis describe it thus) one of Santa's little helpers. Eats, Shoots & Leaves is not a book about grammar.
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